Evidence first. Then the joke.

Broky Bitch looks at what you actually did, money spent, time invested, what you produced, who you talked to, and points at patterns in your own decisions. The humor is the delivery, not the substance.

What we do

• Connect every conclusion to something you disclosed.
• Do the arithmetic in plain, checkable code, not AI vibes.
• Say “insufficient evidence” when that’s the honest answer.
• Separate your controllable mistakes from bad timing, fraud, and external factors.
• Give you one practical rule, not motivational fog.

What we never do

• Medical, psychological, or clinical diagnosis of any kind. A “Broky pattern” is comedy about disclosed behavior, nothing more.
• Individual financial, investment, legal, or tax advice, and never “buy this coin” or “quit your job.”
• Guarantee income or predict your success.
• Sell fake scarcity, fake testimonials, or fake counters.
• Publish anything of yours without an explicit, previewed, deliberate action by you.

Your answers

The quick diagnosis runs without an account: answers are scored and returned to you, not stored, not sold, not used to train models. Registered features will always separate your private history from anything public, with export and deletion built in.

The fake buy buttons

You’ll occasionally meet a suspiciously shiny offer here. It’s a Broky Trap: a satirical persuasion test that reveals a lesson the moment you click. It never opens a checkout, never takes payment details, and its “savings” are labeled practice, separate from anything real.